Two Beers and a Pretzel

The Pink City – Jaipur

They call Jaipur the pink city because most of the old buildings and city walls are made from a pink or red sandstone…

Including the facade of the main palace.

Also notable in Jaipur is the astronomical observatory – which includes the world’s largest sundial (90 ft tall and accurate to 2 seconds) and other similar large-scale instruments for measuring the declination of planets, stars, and constellations.

That afternoon I took a bus to Agra and met Jonathan, a young Brit.  We split a room at a cheap guesthouse that has a great view from the rooftop restaurant.

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The World’s Most Romantic Ego Trip – The Taj Mahal

The next day Jonathan and I hit the Taj Mahal.  Reputedly a monumnet to the king’s favorite wife who died giving birth their 14th child (yowza).  We decided that this guy knew exactly how famous he’d be for building such a monument, and did it to fix his place in history.  So our opinion is that this is not really a monument to romance… it’s simply proof of a massive ego and a large peasant population suppressed into fulfilling the dreams of an oppressive ruler.

Enough of my skeptical commentary and back to reality.  It’s a whopping 750 rupees to get in (with camera .. 20 for Indians).  The security officers absolutely refused to let the bunny in.  I really tried, and at one point thought I would get kicked out myself, but the PLUSH RABBIT was a ‘nonstandard item’ and was deemed a POSSIBLE TERRORST THREAT (seriously, that’s what they said) so I had to leave the bunny and my iPod (also a suspicious device) in my bag in a locker outside the Taj complex.

It was the hottest day I’ve experienced yet.  You sweat profusely just sitting in the shade.  After getting our money’s worth and posing for a dozen or so pictures with Indian kids (in the shade), we left for some lunch, at went to visit Agra’s famed Red Fort.

We never made it past the front gate because it was a additional 250 rupees to get in even though our 700 rupee ticket from the Taj clearly stated that it was good at the fort also.  So we went back and I finally got a bunny pic at sunset…

FYI:  Modern Agra is a ridiculously polluted town, so you ever actually get to see the sun go all the way down, and it’s usually very hazy.

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Now the fun story…

Today I got to vent all of my frustrations with India.  A guy and his friend on the train were sitting my and Jonathan’s pre-paid and assigned seats.  Some guy behind Jonatan said “good luck getting your seats”.  After an incident the previous day where I had to push a bicycle rickshaw off the road when he cut us off and nearly ran me over, I heard Jonathan reply – ‘Naaa – watch this American guy get our seats!”.  I showed the imposters the ticket.  They said something loud and mean sounding in Hindi. Everyone else in the assigned seats looked frustrated (like they had just played the same game).  I showed one guy the ticket closer and the seat numbers and loudly insisted that he get out of my seat.  He yelled and pointed at me – nearly hitting me.  I put my arm behind him to assist him in kindly relinqueshing my seat.  He yelled back and tried to push me – hitting my face.

GAME ON!!!  Due to frustrations in India, I’ve had some pent up adrenaline for a few days now.  I popped him in the face, then picked him up by the neck and arm, lifted him off the chair, set him in the aisle and asked loudly if he still wanted MY #@*%ing  seat.  He looked really ticked off, but walked a few paces back while almost everyone else was smiling (I assume wishing they could have done the same).  I go to sit down, and idiot #2 had slid into my seat and started slapping me on the chest and neck.  I crossed my arms and said “I dare you to do that again”.  He tried.  I assume he wasn’t expecting a guy with crossed arms to block and jab at the same time.  I then grabbed his ear and led him over toward his other friend.  The conductor later threw them off the train when someone talked to him.

I’m pretty sure that I was not violating the Golden Rule, simply because if I was stealing the seat of someone significantly larger than me and smacked them when confronted, I would totally expect to get my but kicked.

A quick side note:  The train ride was the most sad and depressing thing I’ve experienced.  The track between Agra and Delhi could quite possibly be the world’s largest outdoor toilet.  I thought it smelled bad at the station, then as soon as the train left Agra, I started spotting the squatters.  Yep.  People everywhere pooping on or near the tracks.  That’s probably because the poorest slums are right next to the tracks for the entire journey.  There’s refuse and plastic everywhere amongst the putrid water and squatting people.  Every stop stank worse than a port-o-potty (because those at least have bio-cultures and chemicals to mask the smell).  I never knew how well they work until today.

Seriously, aside form the poop, somebody needs to acknowledge that almost everyone is throwing plastic everywhere and add a tax to plastic products in India to fund the imminent cleanup needed.  It makes a lot of the dirtiest Latin American cities I’ve seen (San Jose, CR; Buenos Aires, AR) look clean by comparison.  People here look at me like a total nut case when I save an empty water bottle or a candy wrapper and look for a trash can.   Even ‘rich’ people do it.  Everyone just throws trash everywhere, and it’s so sad…

Back on topic…

So I’m at the train station in Delhi.  The place I’m staying is a few minutes walk from the train station .  While walking with my 20kg (44 lb) backpack plus 7kg (15 lb) day-pack, 4 young guys started following me and ‘goofing around’.  One would tackle the other right in front of me to stop my progress, while one behind me would bump into me.  I knew they’d take my wallet and I was too weighted down to prevent it, so I figured I’d have some fun….

By the way, I carried a ‘Fake” wallet in my rear pants pocket.  If you open it it contains a picture of me grinning and flipping a double bird, a card with ‘Fudge You’ written in 10 different languages (only I didn’t say fudge), and 3000 Chilean Pesos (roughly $5.50 or Rs. 260).  After months of carrying it, it was finally used as intended.

Three of then got into the tackle game in front of me and I pushed them face down into a pile of fresh, steaming cow poo – then kicked them.  They were really pissed, but the guy behind me got the wallet.  They ran away.  I laughed and gave him the pose from the picture inside the wallet.  Well worth $5.50.  I don’t think they understood why I was laughing.  I wish I could have seen their faces when they opened it.  I’m pretty sure they can’t cash pesos here, so I’ll let the cops know to look for a couple boys trying  – but it would be a haul for them.

Here’s the street where the theft happened from the other morning when I was leaving town.

FYI:  I already have a replacement ‘fake’ wallet – though it’s missing the nice picture of me and pesos.

I was starting to seriously court the idea of going back to the beached of Thailand for my last 2 weeks of the world tour (and yes, the funds are drying up, so the months of endless travel are approaching their finale).  Southern India was great fun traveling with Sreekanth, but after parting ways, it doesn’t have the “instant friends” backpacker culture of other places I’ve been.  Delhi cured that ill and gave me hope enough to stay in India or 2 more weeks.

On the way to the Mumbai airport, I convinced the cabbie to take the brand spanking new (opened less than 24 hours) Bandra-Worli Sealink to bypass the city and be possibly the first person in the world to record a time-lapse video of crossing over the new landmark.  The bridge cuts over part of the bay to bypass 45 minutes (to a peak of 2 hours) of packed city travel with a 7 minute jaunt on a $1 tollway.

Then to the airport.  I got another really cool video while the plane was on landing approach in the clouds.  The sud and clouds were just right to create a shadow of the plane surrounded by a complete double rainbow.

On the bus to the terminal I met Jamilla from Sydney.  She had booked a really nice backpacker place for about $12 a night, so I got a room in the same hotel.  The next day we met her Ethiopian/Israeli friend Bayush and booked a cab to see the city.

If I thought I knew the rock star treatment before, now I know what it’s like to be Beyonce’s bodyguard.  Bayush was getting the stare down from every guy, everywhere we went (well duh – tall, pretty, curvy, and dark – walking around with 2 white people).

We saw the Red fort (started in 1638) – which has changed hands and been used by many regimes over the centuries…

The massive Jama Masjid mosque (largest in India)

The Lotus-shaped Bahai Temple

The Qutb Minar Complex.  The highlight of this UNESCO World Heritage area is the 73m tall Qutb Minar tower.  The tower and mosque were both started in 1193.  The tower was completed in 1368, and modified by the Brits in the early 1800′s.

Finally, Delhi’s “India Gate”

A guy in the Government Tour Office was recommending Kashmir to me.  I was planning on Leh (nearby, but in Jammu, not Kashmir).  A number of people have said it’s safe right now, but it appears that they are all from Kashmir and trying to get you to go there.  The US State Dept and a number of other official sources still say Leh and Ladakh are totally safe, but Kashmir is still very questionable – especially Srinagar in the summer.

FYI: Vodaphone is worse in India than it was in Australia.  I haven’t had a decent signal since Bangalore.