Two Beers and a Pretzel

Oddly, ‘Going Home’ is the name of one of my favorite movement’s of Dvorak’s New World Symphony (no 9).

Ingrid’s work Christmas party (including a fancy, expendive dinner) was Monday evening.  I tried to meet up with Mandy, but the trains were still basically at a standstill with more snow falling…  so I stayed at Ingrid’s place, played guitar and watched movies all night.  Around 4AM I had figured she’d passed out and was staying with one of her co-workers, so I went to sleep.  A very short while later, she woke me up for an after party with her boss.  The boss had decided to let everyone come in after lunch on Tuesday, so it must have been a no holds barred night of partying.  They were all quite inebriated and demanded that I play guitar.  It was actually quite fun, but the kitchen was a complete mess the next day.

I just chilled out all day Tuesday, thinking I would leave after dinner for a hotel near the airport.  That plan changed when I saw the prices of hotels over there – $150 a night…  So I decided to stay one more night and just get up really early to be sure I didn’t miss the plane, even if the trains were screwed up.  So that icy, slippery night Ingrid took me out for a going away dinner at a nice little place her family frequents.  They had some very good steak…

I was also recruited to help Ingrid move an old couch down the stairs.  We couldn’t make it fit, so I had some fun making a few very slight modifications to the couch…

Then I had to get to bed around 10PM because I was waking up at 3:30 AM.

Early and still dark, I said goodbye to Ingrid at 4:00 and walked to the train station to catch the 4:30 stoptrain to Rotterdam Central.  Then I had to wait half an hour for the intercity to the airport.  I arrived at the airport at 6 AM, and found the Burger King still open, so in contrast to the great dinner the night before, I had a fast food breakfast.

Then I saw the oddest thing that I never expected to see in the Amsterdam airport…

And that was not about Chris Henry, but the Bengal’s surprisingly good season.

It was just after 6:30 AM, and I had 5 hours before boarding began for my flight, so I bought a pretty good book Vulcan 607 – about the British long range (8000 mile) bomber attack on the Falkland Islands in 1982.  I got into it, then on the plane and kept reading for the 8 hour flight to Chicago.

Once in Chicago, I got the 9th degree from immigration and homeland security.

Them:  Where have you been?

Me:  Holland and Belgium.

Them:  Why were you there?

Me:  Vacation and visiting a friend.

Them:  Where did you stay?

Me:  Her apartment in Dordrecht.

Them:  Is your friend American?

Me:  Nope – a smoking hot Dutch girl.  Wanna see a picture?

After a grimacing look from the agent, I realized I was being a bit too casual, but figured I’d roll with it since I had 6 hours and nothing to do.

Them:  Have you brought any plants or seeds back?

Me:  Oh, you mean weed?  Come on man, how dumb do you think I am?

Another mean look.

Them:  When was the last time you left America?

Me:  Well, I just got back in July.

Them: From where?

Me:  Well, almost everywhere.

Them:  Where specifically?

Me:  You may have noticed that my passport is completely full; but if you want the list…  Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, Argentina, Brazil, Paraguay, Chile, Peru, New Zealand, Australia, Malasia, Thailand, Cambodia, India, U.A.E., and then back home.  Then I drove Route 66, went to Europe for 3 weeks, and now I’m here.

Them:  And why did you do that?

Me:  I chose to sit out the recession.

Them:  What do you do for a living?

Me:  Nothing – I quit work 14 months ago – thus sitting out the recession.

I realized that they really have trouble figuring out someone who is relaxed, more honest than necessary, and doesn’t care if he gets searched, so that’s where they sent me next.  They opened everything and sent me thru the x-ray.  The guy did a thorough job, but completely wrecked my packing.  At least this guy was a bit nicer.  He asked what I did to tick off the agent.  I told him that I apparently didn’t look scared enough and had a full passport – which is very odd for an American.  After unpacking my stuff, searching between book pages, opening gift wrapped items, etc… he told me to gather it up and move along.  I told him that unless he wanted to help me repack, I preferred to stay at his table and put everything back where it belongs.  He was nice enough to let me – probably because some lady at the next table was throwing a complete hissy fit about being searched and that agent needed assistance.

Once thru customs, I discovered my flight to Cincinnati had been cancelled.  Luckilly, another commuter flight was 3 hours late and had room, so I switched to standby and got on that flight.  Oddly, that got me home 3 hours earlier than planned.  I finished the book on the short flight to Cincy.  The nice surprize was that my checked luggage made it even after the change in flights; especially since the last time my luggage went thru O’Hare (5 years ago) $1000 of stuff was stolen and a nice bag was ruined.  I got lucky, because the next available flight was 1:30 PM the next day…

I got home and my buddy Bill picked me up and got me to my truck.  I was going to get him a big bottle of booze, but it’s darn expensive in Europe…  so I’ll probably get him a bottle of Scotch from he Party Source next week.

When I finally got home, my camera was still on Holland time –  4:30 AM.  I’d been awake and travelling for 25 hours.  I went straight to bed.  …Only to wake up and drive to Jackson, Tennessee to spend Christmas with my parents, sister & bro-in-law, and most importantly, my twin neices and one month old nephew!  It even snowed a little here, so we got a White Christmas!!

It’s nice to be back.  I’ll miss the fun I had with Ingrid, and I owe her a huge thanks for letting me crash at her place – especially since it would otherwise have been about $40/night or more… but next time I go to Europe it will not be winter (unless I go skiing).

And now, a Christmas treat for everyone:

…a picture my friend Tabitha sent on Facebook of skinny me, 20 years ago at a high school band concert.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Well, I’ve been in LA for 2 days now…  I just booked a flight to New Zealand for $629 including all taxes and everything…  So I’m looking at about $1300 and a few days of relaxing to get there versus the $2500-$3000 if I had flown direct from Lima.  Fiji is out because it’s the end of the rainy season – I already tried that game in Roatan…  I’ll stick to places where I know the weather is good…

It was pretty nice hanging with my cousin, Asa and his girlfriend, Kristin in LA LA land.  I attended their acting class – which was kind of funny because they had a casting director as a guest.  He gave scripts to pairs of people and the last 2 were one reasonably cute, but disheveled looking girl and me.  She turns around, grabs my leg and says “How exciting, we’ll be acting together.”  It’s amazing how everyone becomes instant best friends in this town.

I replied “Not really, because I’m not an actor – but sometimes I pretend to be one.”

The poor girl looked horrified.  Why hadn’t the director given her a script, and who was this jerk who didn’t care about acting??

She ended up getting a monologue where she plays a crazy, depressed woman… that seemed kind of fitting to me.

Note to self – never date an actress.

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Other than that episode, I confirmed that I have lost 45 pounds total since quitting my job (now 233 – was 278).  I also worked to undo that weight loss by having a great hamburger, some pizza with real mozzarella, and chicken nachos for my last 3 meals.  It was also a nice treat when Katrina – the bartender at the Pig & Whistle poured me a glass of Knob Creek Bourbon after noticing me eyeing the whiskey.  It was really nice having some smooth Kentucky nectar after months where the best whiskey anywhere was Jonnie Walker Red.

There was some kind of communication breakdown with the girlfriend, so I spent one night on Asa’s couch, and last night at the Hollywood Blvd Motel 6 ($66/night).  I was going to stay a bit longer, but after my food and lodging expenses for a week in Peru were $150, I can’t see ponying up $130 for 2 more nights in a bland hotel – sans food.

My only remaining tasks in LA are to mail some stuff home, and to get a picture of the traveling bunny at the Walk of Fame star of Bugs Bunny.

It was a nice day, so I bummed around downtown again today.  It was a little messy after last nights party.  Ok, actually the town is pretty dirty to begin with and there were a lot of cleaning crews out, so it may have actually been more clean than normal.  I bought a Cuban cigar – holy crap it was potent, but good.  I stopped after one Havana sourced stogie, having learned my lesson 7 years ago in Germany about smoking too many Cuban cigars.  Ask Shelly, Joe, Sweeney or Merkle about it.  I swear it was all the schnapps shots (I think Enzian was actually the German work for kerosene) that made me sicker than should be legally allowed, but I’m guessing the 2 cigars might have contributed to my pain.

So, back to the change of plans…

I was going to take a 16 hour bus to Panama and see the canal, then catch a flight to Sao Paulo and a puddle jumper to Porto Alegre.  Aside from my total disdain for an extended overnight bus ride (the seats are not remotely made for guys with wide shoulders), the flights were going to be about $900-1000, and I would still need a ticket out of Brazil before I can get an entry Visa.

Instead of that, I found a sub $400 round trip from Buenos Aires (EZE) to Porto Alegre (POA) that gives me about a  month to play in Brazil.  There’s a sub $800 one-way flight from San Jose (SJO) to EZE every day this coming week at all hours. That gives me flexibility in case of any snafu’s getting the Visa and also takes care of my exit ticket requirement.

The practical upshot of this plan is a week in Buenos Aires.  I have no idea what I’ll do, but I have the Lonely Planet guide to figure that out…  Tango lessons or something.  Everything I’ve heard is that it’s a great place.

The bummer is that I’ll totally bypass Panama and only see the canal from the air.  I may remedy this by extending my South American expedition to Argentina, Brazil, Argentina again, Chile, Peru, Columbia, then sail to Panama, see the canal, and then fly to New Zealand in late February.